TOP 10 BEST GENDERS (UPDATED 2026) (NOT CLICKBAIT)

TOP 10 BEST GENDERS (UPDATED 2026) (NOT CLICKBAIT)

By Danielle Tamara Schatten

Hey, what's up, y'all! So, there's been a lot of outdated info floating around regarding which gender to choose going into 2026, and while I know that none of us are ever locked into our choices since There Is Still Time and you should always do what makes you happy, I wanted to put together a guide for anyone looking for a good gender to main for the casual trans; someone who's stuck using outdated frameworks like MOGAI, the Spectrum, or -- heavens forbid! -- the binary. We had a lot of great options drop recently, but as always, this is just a Top 10 list, and you can really go wild or even demigender, or run without one (agendering, in the lingo)! I'm using a lot of "advanced terms" in this article, like demigender, woman, and soap, so if you're new to all this don't be afraid to use the following high-tech elite trick the NASA egghead geniuses cooked up: www.google.com. Have fun and stay safe no please dear fucking lord stay safe this part isn't a bit jesus fuck

10: Burger King Foot Lettuce

              Number 15 10: Burger King foot lettuce gender. The last thing you'd want as your internal sense of gender orientation is someone's foot fungus. But as it turns out, that might be what you get. A Tumblr user uploaded a photo anonymously to the site showcasing their feet in a plastic bin of lettuce. With the statement: "This is the gender you are at Burger King." Admittedly, they had shoes on.

But that's even worse. For, um, a gender identity. This rising star gender is definitely overrated and I cannot recommend it, as even this early in 2026, there are simply too many mitigating factors and not enough benefits towards basing your sense of being and altering legal documents such as your passport, driver's license, birth certificate, and job applications to reflect that you are Burger King Foot Lettuce.

9: Man

              Taking a surprise upswing back in popularity from its recent low showing over the last few decades, the Man has finally cracked the Top 10 list, making its strongest showing since getting an honorable mention in 2017 (when Soft Boi placed in Number 10)! While this pick is sure to be controversial, as many have been using the Male gender with absolutely awful outputs, it's an excellent demigender option, and despite being a somewhat unpleasant default-selected option, the testimony of so many players who have found joy in selecting this gender exclusively despite having been defaulted into other genders proves to me that it deserves its Number 9 slot, if not higher, as of 2026. Absolutely put Men on your Genders to Watch ranking, and remember, none of us are free until we're all free!

8: Fungus

              While I know I put Burger King Foot Lettuce in low 10 and it's a subgender of fungus, this gender group as a whole cannot be killed in a way that matters, has mostly striven off its stigma* of being rhymed with "chungus," survives mostly underground in a future that has forced most of us underground anyway, and combines excellently as a demigender with pizza. Plus, their visual similarity to dicks has become less relevant in a 2026 world where drawing an Amogus is funnier. I'm pretty confident that the fungus genders have earned their place back on the Top 10 list, although their sedentary natures do hold them back at a moment where if we don't take action now, we'll settle for nothing later.

*stigma balls gottem

6+7: 6-7 (tie)

              This one-two punch of a gender made the list at a tie because all of us deserve to suffer and where we're going we don't need eyes to see, but we've been given them anyway solely to experience the wondrous sights our miserable and enigmatic tormentors above have lain before us. Don't cry because it's over, cry because it isn't over.

5: Emotionless Black Void

              I know this is an unusually low ranking, as Emotionless Black Void usually comes in pretty high on the Top 10 list. However, as of 2026, it's been knocked down a few pegs, due to COVID introspection causing many to realize that maybe there isn't really all that much fun in experiencing nothing and being no one in a world where we as humans are social creatures and require each other to survive. The Emotionless Black Void gender has also been held back by a growing community of trans people who have helped each other acknowledge that we, too, must express and acknowledge our pain and pleasure in order to decide who it is we really are, and what it is we really want. Void is still a valid gender group as a whole, but I'd recommend demigendering with some emotion in there, and remember that Black is always political and always beautiful, whether it's a skin color, an identity, or a flag under which we shall burn the state to the ground.

4: Attack Helicopter

              This one took an (Isabel) Fall over the last decade but I'd say its time is right again. While its adjacency to stereotype genders allows it to be preyed on by the Chud, we have the effective CCK (Charlie Charlie Kirky) tech against them now, and despite being associated with the military-industrial complex, it crosses juuust enough over into the mecha genders to hit the sweet spot of balancing itself on the edge of the robot gender label instead. Plus, unlike the Predator Drone, these are neither piloted by AI, have that particular word in their name, or refer to one specific branded form of United States military technology, so this gender gets the edge. Its natural predator is the Third Wave Feminist, but with that Earth being Broken by now, I think the Attack Helicopter is a great gender to try out going into 2026!

3: Woman

              Shoutout to Women, gotta be one of my favorite genders. I main this one all the time, not gonna lie. A rich, diverse gender type with an absolutely insane variety of flavors, from girliepop to mommy? sorry. to bitch?!?! to meemaw to bb to David Lynch (iykyk) to Problem. Just be sure you don't hit White Woman Syndrome or go separatist and you can't really go wrong using this gender. And a pro tip: definitely try pairing off with someone else running Woman, because the results may surprise and excite you!

2: Faggot

              An incredible pick that we haven't seen be this viable since maybe the fury we had in '66, this gender nearly made the number 1 slot because it's so perfectly usable now. Its only natural counter is the cop, and we have two new pieces of counterplay against that archetype in 2026: the recognition that all humans are humans and when a state dissolves so too does its power over others, and one cool trick that happens when you combine <REDACTED> with <REDACTED> and put it in a squirt gun. Be gay do crime and by crime I mean wage war against the state, it's us or them.

For the number one slot, I initially had some trouble deciding, so I actually took a tip from my friend w.b., who published their idea in The Dial back in '20. I thought it was such a good suggestion this year that I decided to put it down in full; I couldn't contact them directly, as they're pretty offline, but from what I can tell it's free to use. I admit this gender is the one I've been using since early January and plan to main throughout the year, but a heads up: it comes with CWs for religious trauma and r*ading c*mprehension so view at your own risk!

1: Rough Beast

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

              -William Butler Yeats, The Second Coming, 1920 

Honorable Mention: Mayonnaise

              No, Patrxck, mayonnaise is not a top-tier gender. Horseradish is climbing the ranks but it faces a lot of the same issues as Burger King Foot Lettuce right now so wait until 2027 at least.

This is a creative piece submitted to The Needle.

As with all pieces in our Creative column, this article does not represent the views of The Needle.